treasuring a non-toothache
I’m not sure what I used to do for fun, but right now I’m pretty ecstatic over the current egg reintroduction trials. (Apologies to the friends I’ve bored recounting all the eggs I’ve been eating…soft boiled, scrambled, fried, in mayonnaise).
I’m introducing foods back into my diet and it’s just like when your kids were babies and you’d spoonfeed them one single new food which never before existed in their gustatory universe. You’d watch their tastebuds discover peaches, and then wait three nervous days for any reactions. (Actually, it was only sort of like that with Col. By five months Rose was completely offended at not being offered everything we were eating, so when all the books said: at 6 months you can introduce rice cereal! Rose was already onto lentil curry and grilled elk steak).
I am feeling so good, and also so good about finally feeling good. You know what I mean? It’s like I’ve been walking in the dark for over seven months, placing one shaky foot in front of the other, falling a lot, waving away conventional medicine’s offer for a flashlight, and then one day the lights come on and there is healing and also a whole hell of a lot of eggs…and tomatoes…and even small amounts of rice. Susheeeeee!
Sometimes I count the months I’ve been at this, and the foods that have dropped off my “in” list, and other times this just feels like the way I eat. Next up to test on my reintroduction campaign are all the weeds in my garden that I love to eat (dandelion, amaranth, lamb’s quarters, purslane) but are maybe riddled with the oxalates I’ve been off of for many months. And then, green chiles, chocolate, and then booze, because even I am a little sick of digging deeper to find my grounded center on a chaotic afternoon, when a glass of wine would work just as well.
The funny thing is that I never expected to feel so great about simply feeling normal. It’s like this quote from Thich Nhat Hahn, “When we have a toothache, we know that not having a toothache is happiness. But later, when we don’t have a toothache, we don’t treasure our non-toothache.”
(I am considering a new practice of celebrating all the ailments I don’t have).
There’s a lot that currently remains a mystery, partially because auto-immune disorders are little understood and because I’ve been pasting together my own care with the help of Hottie healer voodoo, my new PhD in internet researcholgy and a lot of blind faith.
And I’m sorry to be so vague about the details, but come over for a cup of coffee (with raw cream and coconut oil) and I’ll tell you all about it. We’ll have some eggs together.