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Classes

Questioning Consumption

Wednesday, Oct 21st 6 – 7:30 MST on Zoom. No cost. Donations accepted; 50% will go to Four Corners Mutual Aid – to sign up email me at sanjuandrive(at)frontier(dot)net
 
Capitalism suggests we can meet non-material needs (such as, belonging, purpose, adventure, fun, ease) with material goods. Have you noticed? You can have adventure and fun, but first, you’ve gotta buy a: fill in the blank. We consume material goods, but we also consume news, social media, and maybe even spiritual/political ideology. There is freedom in meeting our non-material needs in the ways humans always have: through relationships with people, the land, and with ourselves and our contributions to others. In this class we will explore the ways in which we meet our non-material needs with material things and look at joyful, resonant, liberating alternatives.

The Home Revolution Immersion Program

for parents of tweens and teens

October – January (Approx 12 weeks with 18 hours of in-person weekly instruction). We will meet outside weekly for 1.5 hours in person as long as the weather allows, and then online. Meeting time TBD by group – limited to 8 participants (5 spots claimed)

The purpose of an immersion program is to offer a focused, transformative practice within supportive community so we can actually shift the deeply engrained patterns handed down to us from our parents and the dominant culture, which suggests two pathways to dealing with parenting challenges: 1) Children are unreasonable and impulsive and need threats and rewards to be cooperative. 2) This stage will pass, just grit your teeth and bear it out.

Using principles of Nonviolent Communication, we will explore a different pathway. One in which all feelings are welcome, and we model and encourage true authentic expression rather than the option our gender constructs have given us (male:) burying feelings or (female:) acting them out; in which we take responsibility for our feelings and reactions and normalize asking for what would make life more wonderful; in which we resolve conflicts completely, bringing us closer in the process and into greater mutual understanding; in which we speak honestly without judgment or blame to our tweens and teens, and receive their feedback without defensiveness; in which everyone’s needs matter and we make true collaborative decisions that we all can live with. These practices move us forward into more honesty, connection, trust, and true collaborative decision making.

In this immersion you will learn to:

  • set limits with love
  • move away from punishment and reward, and towards true collaboration
  • develop a quality of empathy that can hold all painful feelings
  • speak honestly with care and kindness
  • give effective feedback that others can hear
  • hear the essence of our children’s feedback to us no matter the package
  • increase capacity to find solutions that work for all
  • mourn in community what we can’t change to free up space for creativity and wisdom
  • model the skills of dialogue we wish to see in our homes

Cost for 12 week immersion program = $250. 10% off if you sign up by Sept 25th. Payment plans available.

What people are saying about my work. 

To ask questions or sign up, email me at sanjuandrive(at)frontier(dot)net

The Revolution Starts at Home – 2 free classes, in person!

Sponsored by the La Plata Family Center
Held at Brookside Park, Durango – with physical distancing 

Tues, Aug 4th 3pm – 4:30How to listen so kids will talk

When our kid says that thing that infuriates us we often focus on how we feel about the statement rather than what our child is trying to communicate with us. We try to fix, teach, or correct, when simply hearing and reflecting what’s important to our kids would serve relationships better. When we cultivate skills of empathy we can meet all behavior and expression–even that which presents as blame–in a way that gets brings clarity to what’s really driving our children and more trust to the relationship.
 

Tues, Aug 11th 3pm – 4:30pm: How to talk so kids will listen.

Did you know that kids can smell a parent with an agenda a mile away, no matter how you present yourself? If your children tune out when you talk or get suspicious when you begin sharing your perspective, come learn ways of expressing vulnerably without blame or shame. In this class we’ll learn ways of understanding our inner landscape, and then communicating what’s up for us without judgment, while still delivering our truth. When we can speak truth with care we’re much more likely to be met by our children with willingness to listen and collaborate.

Connected Parenting for Parents of Teens and Tweens

~sponsored by La Plata Family Center Coalition
June 9th – June 30th, Tuesdays 4pm – 5:30pm
Classes offered on donation basis
15% of proceeds will go to the Equal Justice Initiative
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June 9th: What you say next matters. We’ve all heard the instruction to put on our own oxygen masks before assisting our children. This makes sense, but how do we do this while demands, standoffs, and blame are prevailing? We can take steps to aim our attention—on the fly and as daily practice—in a way strengthens our wisdom and compassion so we’re more effective when responding to our children’s challenging behavior.
 
June 16thHow to listen so teens will talk  When your tween/teen says that thing that infuriates you (“you’re so annoying!” “ you don’t get it!”) we often focus on how we feel about the statement rather than what our child is really trying to communicate with us. When we cultivate skills of empathy we can meet all behavior and expression–even that which presents as blame–in a way that gets under the words and actions, bringing clarity to what’s really driving our children.  In this class we will practice bringing care and curiosity to challenging situations, to build the trust and connection that fuels healthy relationships.
 
June 23rd: How to talk so teens will listen.  Do you have the sense that your children tune out when you talk? Or, that even when your intentions are good, you’re not getting your point across? In this class we’ll learn ways of understanding our inner landscape, and then communicating what’s up for us without blame, and while still delivering our truth. When we can speak truth with care we’re much more likely to be met by our children with willingness to listen and collaborate.
 
June 30th: Labels and Judgment and Blame, Oh My! Are you convinced that your child has a lazy streak? A selfish side? A low achieving tendency? In this class we’ll work with the stories we tell ourselves about our kids, while strategizing on more effective approaches to supporting our children in thriving. 

 

Effective Dialogue for Uncertain Times
Three Wednesdays, June 17th, 24th and July 1st, 4pm – 5:30pm MST on Zoom
Cost: Sliding scale $75 – $50. Scholarships available. 15% of proceeds to be donated to Bryan Stevenson’s Equal Justice Initiative.
To register, email me at sanjuandrive@frontier.net
These are uncertain times. I’ve seen friendships strained over mask-wearing, acquaintances “break up” on Facebook over differences in perspective. Sometimes a respectful “goodbye” is an apt strategy, other times something greater is lost, which may be simply the capacity to stay in dialogue with someone you care about. Most of us weren’t given the skills to navigate conflict in a way that maintains everyone’s dignity while striving for solutions that work for all. We often reach for blame, shame, appeasement, and power-over to “win” conflicts when tools of listening, perspective-taking, dialoguing, and sharing power can wrap relationships in connection and trust like a security blanket. In times that are uncertain, building resilient relationships is some of the truest security I know.

Connected Parenting through Unpredictable Times 

Online, via zoom

Tuesdays, April 14th, 21st, 28th. 1pm – 2:30 MST
Cost, sliding scale $75 – $50. Scholarships available. 20% of proceeds will be donated towards COVID-19-related medical equipment for the Navajo Nation.
To register: email me at sanjuandrive(at)frontier(dot)net and I will send you the zoom link.
Class 1: Getting clear in the chaos. We’ve all heard the instruction to put our own oxygen on masks before assisting our children. This makes sense, but how do we do this while demands, meltdowns, judgments are prevailing? We can take steps to aim our attention—on the fly and as daily practice—in a way strengthens our wisdom and compassion so we’re more effective when responding to our children’s challenging behavior.
Class 2: Empathy as a first response. When we cultivate skills of empathy we can meet all behavior and expression–even that which presents as blame–in a way that gets under the words and actions, bringing clarity to what’s really driving our children.  In this class we will practice bringing care and curiosity to challenging situations, to build the trust and connection that fuels healthy relationships.

Class 3: Making requests and agreements. When we know how to motivate our children through care and connection we can move out of the demoralizing and ineffective paradigm of threats, bribes, and rewards to control behavior. In this class we’ll practice making requests that move relationships forward, while finding mutually satisfying solutions that honor everyone’s needs, so that agreements are more likely to be kept.

The Heart Of Forgiveness

 

FALL 2019 CLASSES:

EFFECTIVE DIALOGUE FOR CHALLENGING TIMES

a 2 day workshop

Nov 2nd 10am – 4pm; Nov 3rd 1pm – 5pm

@ Dolores, CO Public Library

These are challenging times. Most of us weren’t given the skills to navigate conflict in a way that maintains everyone’s dignity while striving for solutions that work for all. We often reach for blame, shame, punishment, and power-over to “win” conflicts when tools of listening, perspective-taking, dialoguing, and sharing power can wrap relationships in connection and trust like a security blanket. In times that are uncertain, building resilient relationships is some of the truest security I know.

Join us in this 2 day workshop in which we’ll use principles of nonviolent communication to become more effective communicators, bridge-builders, truth-tellers and peace makers.

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Connected Parenting: the revolution starts at home

Raising children is challenging and wondrous. Often, I’ve wished that the pure love we have for them was enough to bolster them through life’s hardships. But love alone doesn’t always translate into clarity in how to respond to their disappointments, anger and jealousy in a way that builds compassion, wisdom, and resilience. Nor is it a roadmap in navigating the conflicts that inevitably arise in a household. Join me bringing simple wisdom, brain science, doable practices, and principles of nonviolent communication to the children in your life so that family life becomes more joyful and connected.

In this class for parents, grandparents and caregivers of children, we will explore:
* understanding what’s behind tantrums, eye-rolling, “sassiness” and other challenging behaviors and how to respond in a way that brings connection, togetherness and clarity.
* navigating disagreements so that everyone feels heard and valued.
* creating willingness and cooperation amongst family members without threats, bribes, or rewards.
* replacing dynamics of blame and judgment with tools for connection.
* standing in the fire of emotion (yours and theirs) in a way that supports resilience.

Classes will be held at Manna Soup Kitchen upstairs conference room, 1100 Avenida Del Sol, Durango, CO
Dates: Wednesdays, Sept 25th, Oct 2nd, 9th, 16th from 5:30 – 7:30.
Cost $120. 20% discount for couples. Scholarships available.
For questions or to register: sanjuandrive@frontier.net

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Say What You Mean*, a communication workshop for parents and children

Tuesday October 22nd, 5:30 – 7:30 at Manna Soup Kitchen Conference Room, 1100 Avenida Del Sol, Durango, CO

Despite our best intentions sometimes when conflict arises in families we revert to habitual patterns: getting defensive, going on the attack, giving up our voice.
In this workshop parents will practice pausing and listening for the message our children are trying to deliver behind any words they use.
Parents and children will practice speaking what is true for them—fears, frustration, dreams, hopes—without blame. The more we can speak our truth and listen deeply the more we will build the trust and connection necessary to solve problems together.

In this 2 hour workshop parents and children will learn to:
*express themselves honestly without alienating others.
*create willingness and collaboration amongst family members without threats, bribes, rewards.
*hear what’s important to others even if their message carries blame and judgment.
*ask for what they want in a way others can hear.

This class is offered in partnership with the La Plata Family Center. Cost is $30 and open to one parent and one child from each family ages 11 and up. A light dinner will be served. Space is limited. To register: sanjuandrive@frontier.net
*Say What You Mean is the title of a great communication book, used with permission by the author, Oren Jay Sofer.

2019 summer single series NVC classes

Times: 5:30 – 7:30pm Mondays (specific dates below)
Location: A livingroom in the Needham Elementary neighborhood. Address given when you register.
Cost: Offered by donation.
 
“Peace does not mean there is no longer any conflict amongst humanity, conflict is bound to happen. So in order to keep the peace the only realistic method is through the spirit of dialogue. So I often share this with people. Now let us try to create this in this century, a century of dialogue. Then I think there is a real possibility of peace.” – Dalai Lama
 

Monday, July 1st: Transforming Judgments Into Wisdom

Rather than seeing our judgments as thoughts to banish, we can learn to process our judgments for valuable information about what is important to us and use this wisdom to move forward in making peace with ourselves and others.
 
Monday, July 8th: Mining the Pause
Viktor Frankel said “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” In this class, we will develop that space–or pause–using it to respond with care and discernment rather than react in a habitual way that creates disconnection.
 

Monday, July 22nd: Empathy Intensive

Learn to discover and reflect what lies beneath ours and othersexpression.When we can hear the essence of what’s important to someone beneath their words, strategies, demands, judgments, we see their humanity. This is where we begin to connect. 
 
Monday, July 29th: Building Needs Fluency
We may feel aligned with the NVC narrative that all behavior, judgment and expressionis an attempt to meet fundamental human needs. But how do we become more fluent in discovering these needsin ourselves and others? In this class we will explore and build a fluency of identifying the needs behind strategies. 
 
Monday, August 5th: Naturalizing the Language of NVC
Learn to harness the usefulness of Nonviolence Communication while sounding natural and conversational. Especially useful at work and when speaking to skeptical children. :)
 
Each class is a complete and single serving. Space is limited so please pre-register. To register or for questions e-mail me at sanjuandrive(at)frontier(dot)net

2019 Winter/Spring Nonviolent Communication Classes

Connection Parenting: peace starts at home
Five Tuesdays: February 26, and March 5,12,19 and April 2nd
1:00pm – 2:30pm
Cost: $120
@ Conference Room on 1st floor of 1911 Main Ave. Durango, CO 81301
In this class for parents, grandparents and caregivers of children, we will explore:
* navigating disagreements so that everyone feels heard and valued.
* creating willingness and cooperation amongst family members without threats, bribes, rewards.
* finding mutually satisfying solutions that take everyone’s needs into account.
* making requests that are doable, clear and positive.
* replacing dynamics of blame and judgment with tools for connection.
* standing in the fire of emotion (yours and theirs) in a way that supports resilience.
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Elements of Effective Dialogue
Five Thursdays: March 7th, 14th, 21st and April 4th, 11th
5:30pm – 7:00pm
Cost: $120
@ Thrive, Durango, CO 81301
In this class we will practice expressing ourselves honestly without alienating others while also hearing what’s important to others even if their message carries blame and judgment. Using the principles of nonviolent communication, our conversations can be more satisfying, effective and connecting. Applicable to dialogue we have with intimate partners, family members, colleagues, and even with folks on Facebook. Suitable for all levels of experience.
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Befriending Yourself
Five Tuesdays: April 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd, 30th
3pm – 4:30pm
Cost: $120
Location TBD, Durango, CO 81301
Author Anne Lamott says girls are trained to become “junior flight attendants,” putting everyone’s needs above their own. And men, according to Marshall Rosenberg, developer of NVC, go to the “John Wayne school,” where they learn good men don’t have feelings and needs. Either way, our society champions many things (productivity, cheerfulness, materialism) above determining what would make life more wonderful for us and speaking this with the most care possible for others. In the class we’ll explore how to recognize, value and communicate what’s alive in us, which gives us more energy and success for interacting and connecting with others.
Contact me at sanjuandrive(at)frontier(dot)net with questions or to register.

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Fall 2018 Nonviolent Communication Classes

The NVC Lab
Five Wednesdays: October 3, 10, 24, and November 7, 14.
5:30pm – 7:00pm
Cost: $100
@ Thrive Chiropractic 202 W 22nd St, Durango, CO 81301

Bring your real life challenges to the NVC Lab, where using the principles of nonviolent communication we’ll explore how to meet life in a way that cares for everyone’s needs, maintains dignity for all, creates more willingness in ourselves and others, and looks for creative solutions that all parties can say ‘yes’ to. Suitable for people who’ve taken a prior class with me or have some experience with nonviolent communication.

Elements of Effective Dialogue
Five Thursdays: Oct 25, November 1, 8, 15,  29.
3pm – 4:30pm
Cost: $100
@ Stitch 153 E 15th St, Durango, CO 81301
In this class we will dissect our conversations to illuminate common pitfalls that inhibit dialogue. We’ll practice expressing ourselves honestly without alienating others while also hearing what’s important to others even if their message carries blame and judgment. Using the principles of nonviolent communication, our conversations can be more satisfying, effective and connecting. Applicable to dialogue with intimate partners, family members, colleagues, and even with folks on Facebook. Suitable for all levels of experience.
Middle School Girls NVC class
Five Mondays: November 5, 12, 19; December 3 and 10
2:45pm – 4pm.
Cost: $85 (snacks included).
Location: in Durango TBA
We will practice the art of expressing ourselves honestly without alienating others, work with the judgments and stories that hold us back and learn to ask for what we want in a way that encourages others can hear.
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The Family Nonviolent Communication Half Day Workshop
Saturday, July 28th 1pm – 4:30pm
@ Studio 10, Smiley Building
Conflict is a part of life. We can think of conflict as information about what’s not currently working. Often conflict intensifies because we haven’t been given tools to communicate what is important to us while allowing for the expression of others. In the close quarters of families this can become magnified. In this class we will explore pathways of working through conflict to achieve greater understanding, connection, and lasting resolution. This workshop is designed to be experiential, with play-based learning, and participation based on individual comfort level.
In this 3.5 hr workshop participants will learn to:
*express themselves honestly without alienating others.
*create willingness and collaboration amongst family members without threats, bribes, rewards.
*hear what’s important to others even if their message carries blame and judgment.
*find mutually satisfying solutions that take everyone’s needs into account.
*ask for what you want! (including empowering youth to communicate what is important to them in a way they can be heard by adults).
This workshop is for the whole family and is suitable for children ages 9 and up.
Cost: sliding scale $65- $95/family
Space is limited. Register by emailing me at sanjuandrive@frontier.net

Nonviolent Communication Classes, Spring/Summer 2018

Nonviolent communication offers a map for making connections across differences. In this class participants will learn to express themselves honestly without alienating others; respond to judgments and blame in a way that brings greater connection; seek solutions that meet the most needs possible for various parties in conflict, and increase empathy skills. Nonviolent communication is a technology and a consciousness that can be used to improve all relationships, from the interpersonal to the professional. This class is highly experiential and includes weekly homework.
To read testimonials from previous class participants go here.
Living Nonviolent Communication – a 5-week course
suitable for all levels of experience
This is a highly experiential class in which we learn by doing, so that participants can take in-class learning into their lives for greater satisfaction in communication.
*5 week class meeting Thursdays 3pm – 4:30, starting May 3rd 2018. Class will be held at Stitch. Each five week session is $100. FULL with waitlist
*5 week class meeting Tuesdays 5:30 – 7pm, starting June 12th 2018. Class will be held at Thrive Chiropractic. Each five week session is $100. One spot left!
Summer Half-Day NVC Classes: (times and dates TBA)
Nonviolent communication for Parents: how to create more cooperation and collaboration in your family
Nonviolent communication for Couples: how to break free from old, harmful patterns
Nonviolent communication for Tweens and Teens: how to collaborate with your parents to get what you want.
Empathy Intensive: the transformative art of listening

For more information or to register, email me at sanjuandrive(at)frontier(dot)net

Nonviolent Communication Classes, Winter 2018

Nonviolent communication offers a map for making connections across differences. In this class participants will learn to express themselves honestly without alienating others; determine the universal, healthy, human needs behind others’ judgments and behaviors; seek solutions that meet the most needs possible for various parties in conflict, and increase empathy skills. Nonviolent communication is a technology and a consciousness that can be used to improve all relationships, from the interpersonal to the professional. This class is highly experiential and includes reading assignments and weekly homework.
To read testimonials from previous class participants go here.
5 week class meeting Thursdays 3pm – 4:30, starting January 18th 2018. Class will be held at the Smiley, Studio 10.
5 week class meeting Wednesdays 5:30 – 7pm, starting January 31st 2018. Class will be held at Thrive Chiropractic. (We’ll skip Valentines Day).

Each five week session is $100.

For more information or to register, email me at sanjuandrive(at)frontier(dot)net

 Spring/Summer classes 2015

 

Art of Mindfulness Summer Camp for Kids

Art of Mindfulness flyer_final
 

Fermented Drinks: Kombucha and Ginger Ale

taught with Jennifer Smith
Where: Durango Natural Foods
When: Wednesday, May 13th 6 – 7:30
Cost: $17/Co-op member $20/non-member 
Prepay at the register, or call 247-8129. Space is limited.
[price includes organic produce to make a ginger ale starter]
 
Learn the art and science of making the fermented drinks, kombucha and ginger ale. Both are easy, delicious, living, and contain numerous health benefits. In this class you will sample both drinks, go through a step by step process to make each, get information on how to obtain a kombucha scoby, and go home with a ginger ale starter. Scobys [an acronym for Symbiotic Colony Of Bacteria and Yeast] available to first 7 sign ups! Please bring a small jar.

Harry Potter discussion and writing class for kids ages 9-13.

arugula8

UPCOMING CLASSES:

One day comprehensive Hide Tanning class using traditional brain-tanning methods. Taught by Dan. Details TBA.

Hunting Skills for teenagers, taught by Dan. Details TBA

email if interested

 

Yoga/Writing Retreat

yoga:writing2

Taught by Joy Kilpatrick and Rachel Turiel

Friday February 27th, 6:30pm – 8:30pm, Saturday February 28th, 9am – 1pm, Sunday March 1st, 9am – 1pm. Cost: $160, Register by February 18th: $130, or register with a friend and take a $10 discount each. Organic, GF snack buffet included. Space is limited. THREE SPOTS LEFT

Yoga unifies the body and mind, opening us to our deepest insights, while writing provides a container for this wisdom. Practicing yoga and writing together ignites our creative fire and liberates our authentic voice so we can transcend the inner critic and delve deeper. In this retreat there are alternating sessions of writing and yoga. Suitable to all levels of experience.

Feedback from past Yoga/Writing Retreats:

“The writing exercises helped me see the everyday as worthy and rich material”
“The yoga practice gave my body a chance to stir up energy and get my mind out of the way.”
“I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so in my body.” (after Yoga Nidra)
“This was amazing and opened up an entire realm within me.”
“Outside description really opened up and supported awareness and paying attention.”

Children’s Creative Writing Class: 4th/5th grade

February 5th -March 5th Thursdays, 3:30 – 4:45. $90. Location: TBA 
 
Through writing exercises and assignments, we will explore the magic of language and storytelling. Individual styles are celebrated, as there is no right or wrong way to write, just the cultivation of an inspired practice. No emphasis on spelling, punctuation, or grammar. Participants will have a chance to share and comment on each others’ work in the spirit of support and fun. Open to 4th and 5th graders. Register now. 

Art of Fermentation

Tuesday, February 23rd 6:00pm. Location: Durango Natural Foods. Cost: $20
 
Learn the history and science behind the ancient art of fermentation. Participants will learn the basic protocol for making many different ferments, including fruit and vegetable, dairy, vinegars and beverages. Participants will sample different ferments and take home a pint of kimchi, made in class with organic ingredients. Handouts and recipes included. Bring: pint jar, knife and cutting board. All organic produce provided. Space limited to ten participants. To sign up e-mail: design@durangonaturalfoods.coop or pay at the DNF cash register.

Children’s Creative Writing Class: Middle School

March 30th – March 27th. 5 Mondays, 3:00 -4:15. $90. Location: TBA
 
Through writing exercises and assignments, we will explore the magic of language and storytelling. Individual styles are celebrated, as there is no right or wrong way to write, just the cultivation of a joyful, inspired practice. No emphasis on spelling, punctuation, or grammar. There will be instruction, in-class writing exercises, short assignments, and a chance to share and comment on each others’ work in the spirit of support, fun and personal expansion. Open to middle schoolers. Register now. 

Bow-making Workshop

November – February, up to fourteen weeks. Wednesdays, 6:30pm-8:30pm. $20/class. Approx $125 materials fee. Location: The bow-making inner sanctum (Near Needham Elementary). Taught by Dan Hinds. (No class Thanksgiving and Christmas week).
Craft your own bow out of local wood under the guidance of a 14-year bowyer. This class includes: stave selection, tool use, rough-out, backing (with a natural lamination of elk sinew/rawhide), tillering, finishing, and shooting. This class will meet for a maximum of fourteen weeks, geared for each participant to complete their bow. All experience levels welcome! Workshop series could be shorter if participants work on their bows at home between classes. Phone or email consultations are available during the week, between sessions. Limited to 5 participants.

To sign up e-mail me at sanjuandrive(at)frontier(dot)net

 

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