Grain-free cauliflower pizza crust
Rose is sitting at the table wearing an explosion of pink fashion and eating fresh roadkill deer heart appetizer. Dan is explaining (mansplaining? bucksplaining?) about the buck deer whose one remaining antler is barely hanging on. (The buck he has been trailing for days, having already picked up his first dropped antler). Col is humming, whistling and otherwise providing constant background noise. And, our two foster puppies are sleeping in a pile of unconscious twitches and groans.
“I love all these clothes Aubrey brought over,” Rose gushes, forking seared deer heart into her mouth, “especially the shawl shirt.” Shawl shirt?
“So, tomorrow, I’d love to leave before dawn,” Dan starts. “I’d be back in time for breakfast. He’s gotta drop tomorrow.”
*whistling sounds*
“Also the purple dress, the cute tops, the skinny jeans…except they gave me a headache.”
“The skinny jeans gave you a headache?” Col breaks through the fog of his whistling to ask.
I place the pizza on the table, shifting the tomato seedlings out of the way, picking up the note in Dan’s handwriting that says: “mammal femur, deer ulna, bird bone,” (later, he explains this is a wish list from his friend Tracy, which doesn’t really explain anything). I wait for everyone to hush, to behold, awe-filled and reverent, this castle of pizza: the melty cheese roof covering the ramparts of toppings, all mortared by tomato sauce to the crispy crust.
“I think I’ll try the jeans one more time, and if they still give me a headache, I’ll give them away,” Rose announces.
*more whistling*
Turns out, there is no quietly reverent moment, but there is pizza, warm, delicious and ready.
Score!
Foster puppy muffins, because we needed just a little more nuttiness and sweetness in our 800 sf house.
If you were wondering how much snow is at Coalbank Pass, Dan might dig you a snow pit.
Grain-free Cauliflower Crust Pizza
Just a word about this pizza. It’s passed the test of kids, grandparents, many guests. You don’t actually taste the cauliflower, but you feel good about it being there.
Ingredients
2 cups almond flour
2 cups arrowroot flour (plus a little extra for patting down the crust)
2 cups steamed and blended cauliflower
2 eggs
2 TBSP melted coconut oil or butter
pinch of salt
Directions
Preheat oven to 350F. Put pizza stone, cookie sheet, or whatever you want to cook the pizza on into the oven, greased with oil or butter. Mix wet ingredients first (eggs, oil and steamed, blended cauliflower – the more blended the better). Add all other ingredients. Mix well.
Pull pizza stone out and press dough first with a rubber spatula and then with floured hands – this dough is moist and sticky- evenly onto stone. Bake for 15 minutes or until top is crispy, and then flip and bake for 10 more.
Add sauce, toppings and cheese and bake for another 10 – 15, and then for the bubbly cheese effect, broil for 5 minutes.
Enjoy!
Patting the dough down:
Baked crust:
Spreading the sauce:
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LOL – you nailed northern (mountain in your case) climate family dinnertime, mid-March, with kids and animals, right on the head. Made my day :-)
Such an easy way to prevent headaches– looser jeans. Recipe sounds great.
i love your writing. you really capture the beauty and chaos so perfectly. we have been on an altered diet and i just tried a cauliflower crust that is merely soaked chia, almond flour and cauliflower, plus spices. we are egg and dairy free, so the toppings are carmelized onions, sausage, mushrooms, and olives. as long as the sausage overpowers the onions, the kids are game and can’t even believe they are eating a semblance of what they previously knew as pizza.
Oh Rachel, this slice of life is so wonderfully lively!
I felt a big smile rising up in my heart while reading your post.
Also, craving for this incredible pizza, which I am going to try with Kendra’s suggestions, as I am also egg-free and dairy-free!
Love from snowy Montréal and purrs from Lola the Cat.
xo
Oops ! I forgot to enter my name etc in the comment above. This is me, Emmanuelle !