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the chasm

2013 April 21
by Rachel Turiel

drummer boy

Little Drummer Boy

Col’s homeschool co-op’s play was amazing, and I mean that in the most unobjective way that everything your child ever does on or will do on a stage is amazing. (Including Col’s preschool stage debut where he forgot to hold up his painted sign at the appropriate moment and was nudged by 2 girl classmates who were 3 going on 13. He then dropped the sign, missed his whole part, and I still cried from happiness and pride).

Everything has been fab on the road-trip of parenting these past few months. I mean sure sometimes we get low on gas, or the road map occasionally appears to be written in Congolese, but we’re getting pretty comfortable with navigating the particular highways of our family.

And then, just recently, we came upon a chasm in the road that we don’t exactly know how to cross. It looks pretty deep and wide from where we stand, and also like something most parents will deal with at some point or another (read: perfectly normal, and also, still hard).

When I can get my forehead crease unstuck, I’m grateful for this new opportunity to grow as a parent. Neither parenthood nor life will ever be wrinkle-free, but if we can see these problems, these deep, scary chasms as the very impetus to grow, to become more fluent in kindness and acceptance (towards our children and ourselves) we will see that the chasms are not so scary after all. I am grateful that my kids challenge me to dig deeper, to be more patient, more empathetic, to see more possibilities, to meet them where they’re at with kindness and acceptance.

I’m also grateful that I’m not alone, that I have parenting allies who will hold my hand through the wilderness of parenting. Kathleen Hennessy of PeaceWorks Coaching will be in Durango leading workshops on Positive Discipline (which is for people wanting to get off the wheel of rewards and punishment and find sane, effective parenting solutions based on connection and respect) on the weekend of May 3rd. Thank Goodness. More on her workshops here. (Early registration discount ends Monday, April 22nd at midnight).





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