standing on the shoulders of giants
Attachment Parenting is so tiring.
Happy Friday Everyone,
First, giveaway winner of the painting/writing super set is Nancy Walters. Email me with your address and I will send, forthwith.
Second, ever since I was asked to contribute to the website, 3 things for mom, all my thoughts are coming packaged into Tips and Truths, including: A pot of beans equals dinner! Or, those first carrot sprouts, flashing their green, 2-fingered peace signs in the sun mark the official start of garden season. Which, I realize, may only be truths to me.
The carrots! They’re here!
I did want to share a tip which is helping me immensely. I recently read that children laugh 200 times a day. 200 times! (Adults: a paltry 15). A fair portion of my kids’ laughter surrounds fart jokes and the post-dinner mosh pit of wild careening of bodies, both of which crinkle my forehead up. But now, I remind myself: they have a laugh quota and I’m not going to stand in their way of reaching it!
What are your Truths and Tips?
I like to surround myself with inspirational people, with mentors in my various disciplines. When I visit flourishing gardens, it inspires me to love and care deeper for my own. When I attend the talks at the Durango Dharma Center, I am reminded of my own potential to wake up. Many of my mentors don’t know me, like author, Anne Lamott, who, in her 500-word Facebook posts, manages to be both completely human and completely uplifting. I count her among my spiritual and writing advisors.
I have a circle of parenting mentors as well, of course. I constantly stand on their shoulders to get a clear view through the trees of parenting. Kathleen Hennessy of PeaceWorks Coaching is one of them. Dan and I took her Positive Discipline Workshop last fall, which was a powerful, hands-on experience of practicing the parenting philosophies I’d been delivering in 2 minute soundbytes to Dan as he’s falling asleep. (FYI: the real practice works so much better than the soundbytes. Also to break it down: this workshop provided some HUGE insights into my kids’ particular style of getting needs met, which can look like misbehavior, and how to address these needs/behaviors in a healthy way).
Positive Discipline is my parenting language, or at least the language I am trying to become more fluent in daily. The reason this style (de-emphasizing praise/punishment, emphasizing cooperation and personal responsibility) resonates with me is not just because it works, but also because it feels better. Of course this is hard, it’s a muscle that needs exercising, which is why I am grateful for opportunities like this workshop.
PeaceWorks Coaching is offering 2 workshops and a free talk in May in Durango:
Talk: The Top 10 Tools for Raising Responsible Kids: Friday, May 3rd 7:30 – 9pm FREE
Workshop: Why Children Misbehave and What to do About It: Saturday, May 4th 1-5
Workshop: Expanding your Positive Discipline Toolbox: Sunday, May 5th 1-5 (this is an advanced course, for those who attended the workshop last fall, or are familiar with Positive Discipline)
Cost: both workshops are $55/individual $85/couple
* 10% off registration if you register by 4/22
* An additional 10% off if you type in 6512andgrowing into the “promotional code”
All workshops taught by Kathleen Hennessy, Certified Positive Discipline Educator. They will be held at the Rocky Mountain Retreat Center, 848 E 3rd Ave. (Except the advanced class, location TBA). Appropriate for parents of children up to age 18.
The tools and concepts of Positive Discipline include:
- Mutual respect. Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs of the child.
- Identifying the belief behind the behavior. Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs, rather than merely attempting to change behavior.
- Effective communication and problem solving skills.
- Discipline that teaches (and is neither permissive nor punitive).
- Focusing on solutions instead of punishment.
- Encouragement (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment.
For more info and/or to sign up go here and click on the orange E.
See you there!
And if you have any additional questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!
And have a very lovely weekend!